I’m getting married this August and I wanted something well suited to our personalities. Here are the 5 wedding traditions I’m ditching in order to achieve that.

I have been telling myself for ages that I should blog more about me, but it always feels SUPER self-centered. I know that people would like to get to know the person photographing them though, so I’m going to do my best! Up until my wedding date though, expect it to be regurgitating tips and things I’ve learned since beginning this planning process. People (including myself) assumed that planning a wedding should be easy because I’m a photographer. Turns out that is not remotely true.

When we got engaged, I made sure to make a list of my priorities. Then I started to think about all the things I’ve seen at the weddings that I’ve photographed. There were some parts that were traditional and classic that I don’t think should be disturbed. However, there were several things that I don’t find necessary and think will make our wedding tailored towards the couple we are and marriage we want.

(P.S – These are not my engagement photos. Those are in April! We take photos every anniversary and these are from our first. The amazing Britt Crowe took them. I’ll be blogging our engagement photos and our wedding photos later.)

1. The first look – I LOVE first looks. I mean, I even wrote an entire blog post about it. However, my fiance & I wanted to do something a little more intimate. We’ll be getting ready together in a huge Airbnb in Downtown Kansas City. I’ll help dress him in his suit and he’ll help me zip up my dress with no one else but our amazing wedding photographer, Molly, there. Afterwards, we’ll have a “first look” with our parents and wedding party.
2. The bouquet/garter toss – I don’t want Ean under my dress at any point, I’m not throwing expensive flowers, and it’ll take time away from being on the dance floor. Therefore, we’re just eliminating this all together.3. “Giving Away” the Bride – We haven’t exactly decided which route we’re taking, but I’ve always been an incredibly independent person. We’ll either be walking into the ceremony together, or I’ll simply walk myself down the aisle.

4. Wearing a White Dress – Mama didn’t give me all of this melanin for me to be basic. I’ve been looking for champagne dresses EVERYWHERE. The sad news is. Champagne means several things to several people. With my top 3 dresses right now from Azazie, it looks like their definition and my definition may be a little different. Regardless? I’m adding that little “pop” of color.

5. Huge floral displays – I have the most talented florist friends and I love them. However, I’ve never been a huge “flower” girl, honestly. They’re expensive, they won’t last the night, and I really only want things that will stick with us. We’ll be getting a couple of bouquets from Collections Floral and only E will be in a boutonniere. The other people usually get them torn up by taking their jackets off and on anyway. No thanks.

Bonus: My queer sister (who identifies as a woman) will be in a maroon tux the same color as all of my other “maids/matrons”. She’s going to look amazing and if I could get the rest of them to wear suits much like what we’ve been seeing as a new trend.. I’d be all for it.